We don't get out much.
Even less, since the night time shenanigans began in earnest for Gilby in the run up to Christmas. Nine weeks of interrupted sleep seems a lifetime, and I wouldn't want to inflict one of those tortured evenings on an unsuspecting baby-sitter. But given that we have Lady Visa, our au pair, we thought we'd try it last night. Just round to friends' for supper; a few streets away. Easy to return if things kicked off back at home. We took the unusual precaution of pre-ordering a taxi, on the off-chance that one or two glasses of alcohol might be consumed.
We returned, relaxed(!) and refreshed at about quarter past eleven (phew - late night!) to find Gilby crying his eyes out, one shoe on, sitting by the back door trying desperately to pull the other shoe on. Ouch. That is the combined pain of my heart hurting, and the piercing stab of guilt.
He was incoherent, but I'm assuming he must have wandered into our bedroom, realised that we weren't there, and, without checking Lady Visa, decided that he had been abandoned.His three year old mind had then hatched a wild plan to head out into the dark night to come and find us. We live on a main road in the middle of nowhere. Fast cars and no people!
Once we had calmed him down, he whispered in my ear that he was 'sorry for being naughty and for putting my shoes on, actually...'. Ouch, ouch, ouch!
Sigh. So there's guilt and there's...guilt. It will be a while until we try to go out again, methinks.