Monday, 19 September 2011

Crash, Bang, B*ll*cks!

As usual I am entertained by the relative linguistic expertise of both my children, surely one of the 'joys of motherhood'.

Gertie, newly elected to the School Council (just how exactly does that happen on Day 5 of one's school career?) came home for the weekend, marched up to the fridge and formed the word 'Friday' with the plastic magnetic letters, much to the astonishment of her mother. Two weeks' worth of education and she appears to be able to read, write and spell.

Meanwhile, Gilby has increased the use of one of his favourite phrases: 'Crash, Bang, Wallop!'; his immediate response to any loud noise, bang or dropped item. Except that he mispronounces it so that it sounds much more like, "Crash, bang, bollocks!"

Personally, I think that this is a much more articulate response to smashing something, or even life's general frustrations, and have therefore adopted it myself.

My due date has come and gone without so much as a teasing cramp...so frankly, all I have to say is, "Crash, bang, bollocks!"

40 Weeks Pregnant: Mouth is sore from excessive fresh pineapple consumption, to no avail.
Currently reading: Still Alice
by Lisa Genova

Monday, 12 September 2011

Hyde Park Waddle


I know this picture doesn't look pretty, but yesterday I took part in the adidas 5K Women's Challenge in Hyde Park, along with 15,000 other women.

I completed the course in just under 53 minutes. Not a particularly impressive time, but pretty good for 39 weeks pregnant, I reckon. I have been running this race for the last five or six years and felt that I might as well go for it, in spite of my protruding belly. It was a very supportive environment and there were plenty of well-wishers on the way. Gertie asked me at the end if I'd won! I felt like I had...

The scary thing is that I actually felt quite good afterwards. I 'ran' just over 1km and walked the rest, saving a little energy for a 'sprint' finish, and last night had more energy and less aches and pains than I usually would. I'm not sure that I want to explore the moral of this story!

I raised £222 for the MS Society, my biggest total so far. I am very grateful to all who supported me, and to the organisers for helpfully placing toilets just after the 3km mark. That was extremely important.

39 weeks pregnant: Wondering why a 5K run didn't get labour going...
Currently reading: The Two of Us
by Sheila Hancock

Monday, 5 September 2011

First Day


What is it about school uniform that suddenly makes them look so grown-up?

Gertie was very excited about starting school, and not in the least bit concerned by the transition; in fact she seemed to think her mother's slightly erratic and emotional behaviour distinctly odd at times, though she accepted the morning's photo shoot with a mature tolerance.

All went smoothly from her point of view, though there were two minor failures on my part: the carefully sewn-in name badge on her cardigan came off and I forgot her water-bottle.

She was so ready to go that I really had no worries about how she would get on. Yet a small part of me can't help thinking about what is lost. Just a few weeks ago she was asking why I never plaited her 'front hair' (she couldn't think of the word for 'fringe'), and why God was always so 'baggy'. It took me a little while to work out what she meant, until she pointed at the sleeves on her white shirt that were loose at the ends, "like this". All the representations she sees typically picture God or Jesus in white loose-fitting clothing.

The concrete construal reminds me of another story I heard where a school inspector asked a reception child what they were drawing. "God," replied the child. "But nobody knows what God looks like," challenged the inspector. "They will in a minute," responded the self-assured five-year-old.

But when Gertie came home yesterday she told me that we must always wash our hands when we have touched something that has been on the floor, even if we are not about to eat. (I knew I had been lapse at this parenting-lark) and that the planets are all spinning all the time but so slowly that our eyes cannot see them. Aggie MacKenzie and Professor Brian Cox would both be proud.

Mummy? Is proud and just a little sad...

Nearly 39 weeks pregnant: Wondering if it is just pregnancy hormones, but suspecting that the other 750,000 Mums were also a bit weepy this week
Currently reading: Annie Dunne
by Sebastian Barry